I spent the weekend just ruminating myself to bits, but I have finally decided.

I am taking the new job, and I got the concessions I want to make that happen in a way that pleases me: I get to do it on my own terms, no lies. I get my Christmas vacation, one week, so long as I get that paperwork in day one (no one else has put in for it yet) — that was a big concern. I also get to take on some interesting projects, and because it is a new property there will be a chance to initiate new things and experiment, as well as helping others with activities if only to increase my skill set and have a more diversified resume so that, later, when I am ready to go higher I have that intact. The current place is just too busy/big/departmentalized and, yes, cliquish, to get a toe in even when I volunteer or ask questions.

I think she got scared of my turning this down, and pulled out every possible thing to reassure me and answer my questions. This is fine. I’m glad I got the nerve up to be a little demanding . . . at the other place, I just felt fed up yesterday with the lack of order and the crankiness of people who don’t like the job around me. And the way I have to consistently disappoint guests along the way because I have not been given the tools to actually help them. And the way some people senior to me are that much condescending and aggressive.

I hate, for example, one manager telling me (even in teasing) to “check people in faster” (as if I never do) because heaven forbid I spend a little more time on one guest who needed genuine help! Was I supposed to say “Sorry, can’t help you now because there is a line and I have to keep the check-in under three minutes. Next, please?” — I don’t work in a bank!

That isn’t hospitality, to me.

I think some of this is the feeling I have about Toronto *at times* — not all of the city is like this, but there is a sense of rush, hurry up, and rudeness that seeps in with a larger, more anonymous crowd in some of my experiences. I might get a thicker skin, but I won’t ever get used to that or accept it.

Anyway, enough ranting šŸ˜› I’ve decided. Thank-you for your feedback, it was very appreciated and echoed my own thoughts, helping me to be more resolved.