I really should get my ass in bed, but I can’t stop thinking about a major decision and how I’m going to handle it once I make it . . . this post is friends-only for a very good reason.

I am being courted/poached by different hotel from the one which I am working at. The front office manager at the other hotel worked at the current one, liked me, and called me suddenly to invite me to work with her at new property, a smaller luxury hotel, for a higher wage etc.

This is, obviously, not being done too openly and it will be, if I take this other job, a massive shake-up as I am not the only one possibly leaving the current property. I am concerned about hurting other people and with causing stress for others at current hotel, and perhaps (down the road) if I hang in I could move up into what I really want to do (concierge, sales, groups, etc.) at current place (this is a long road in a large, heavily proceduralized company). But here is this carrot . . . change, a smaller (less hectic) company from current place (more like first hotel I ever worked at) and with other challenges which draw me.

What kills me is the person who is recruiting me wants me to play along with this story that I solicited the opportunity myself, so that she does not alienate her old company . . . that bothers me. I almost feel, since she is gone already, that she has a little less to lose and that, if I do follow this tack, that my last two weeks or so could be rough. It happens a lot in this business, but that doesn’t minimize the thud of it when it happens.

Did I mention I am not the only one? Another girl already put in her notice for the same reason, and this was like a small explosive at my work in of itself. If I go . . . yeah, I feel bad and guilty with short staffing at current place as it is.

So, I don’t know quite what I am going to do. Have to draw up a list of pros and cons, really, and then suck it up with whichever wins out. Either way, there is sizable risk. No one gets off easy. And I’ll burn a bridge no matter which way I turn.

I just needed to write . . . I want something rewarding and challenging and possibly leading beyond, and I am doing the side projects and working hard, but Toronto’s industry is fiercely competitive.

I’m too sensitive, at times, for this business. Gah.