Question: How have you, personally, gone about communicating constructive criticism to a person working with you or under you, if you have been annoyed or concerned about that person’s behaviour? Is there anyone else out there, like me, who finds this challenging?!

I had what was likely my first genuine workplace confrontation ever — I have been having a difficult time with a particular co-worker (another department) who I find rather rude and aggressive. I made the mistake of mentioning my concerns about politeness to my manager, and she proceeded to tell this girl that I had a major problem with her and that I was fuming with her, and so on. Thank-you for putting me in the middle and exaggerating my words . . .

So this girl comes back to the office, asks the person I’m talking to to leave, and starts getting ultra defensive and asking me what she is doing wrong. She is the kind of person, though, who turns very mild constructive criticism around into an attack, and who does not accept any feedback without a defense.

I found myself waffling, trying to find a non-confrontational way of telling her that she needs to become more polite and considerate when speaking with co-workers and with, well, customers! She didn’t understand, and sees nothing wrong with shouting at people AND feels that she is always saying “please and thank-you” (which is absolute bullshit). She was just mad that I said anything to someone who could affect her job success. But the girl needs to calm down and get much more professional. I can’t stand rude people, and I imagine most guests or customers can’t either!

So I find myself having to be very assertive, and having to take stands and even reprimand new people. I’m not sure I enjoy this, but it feels better once I get it out of my system.

I haven’t been writing much in here of late. I guess, after work is over, I get less and less desire to plunk in front of the computer once more. It is only on my days off that I feel much desire to invest time.

Work has continued to be busy and somewhat chaotic, as new staff and new departments get forced into practice and the communication connections break down along the way. My fellow lead GSA wanted to call a meeting to discuss the negative “atmospheric changes” which have been marking that environment lately — it seems like many of my colleagues are becoming increasingly unhappy with the disorganization of our management and with the increased stress coming out of it. With such a large hotel, I’m not sure there are many easy solutions until the volume starts to slow down and we all get room to breathe for a space.

Me . . . yes, I get aggravated and annoyed at management behaviour but, I don’t know, I guess I am increasingly a tough and stoical person — if there is a problem, I find myself getting mad and getting a drive to fix it myself instead of leaving it for someone else, just so I don’t have to stay mad! I want to believe I’ve learned something, at last, from my past struggles with anxiety and stress. I definitely seem or feel less stressed than others I work with, and that is great for my health but I get concerned about others and about how I can make this workplace better. I’m not a natural leader. And I’m not sure if I can solve these things at my level.